Follow The Nightmare
by ambz266
Summary: This story takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. He leaves Bella pregnant, and he didn't even know it. Bella picks up her shattered life and learns how to deal with life with baby, without Edward. Til he comes back to find a baby here too.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Thanks for reading this story! I hope it's good. I don't own Twilight or anything like it. Although I wish I did. I'd have billions by now….._

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**Change**

BPOV:

Life changes faster than you think. The second you blink an eye something changes. I never thought so much could change in a matter of hours. It's been 10 years since HE left. 10 years since the day my world crashed around me. My name is Bella Swan, and I had my entire life ripped right out from under me. I'm working to rebuild that life now. And it's taken me 10 years to get have something to live for again.

HE left me in September. The day after my birthday. On the day of my birthday HE finally gave me what I wanted. And that was sex, pure rare sex. I had begged for months, HE told me it was too dangerous. But I wore HIM down and got my way. As usual. But first I had to go through pure torture of a birthday party HIS sister planned. It just happened that HIS brother tried to kill me before the party was over. The whole family was a bunch of vampires, my blood was like candy to them. And Jasper just couldn't hold back anymore.

I don't blame Jasper though, I never could. It wasn't Jasper's fault that HE left me. I spent the next two months in a daze. I went through the motions of life. It was like I wasn't even really there. A lot of people were concerned about me, family and friends tried to get me to come out of my shell. But it didn't matter to me, nothing mattered because HE was gone. HE was my reason for living. Without HIM there was nothing left in the world.

But that was until the fateful day my friend Angela pulled me aside and said she noticed I was gaining some weight and asked if I was pregnant. I figured out that I hadn't gotten my period in almost two months, it wasn't something I had noticed in my daze. And I definitely wasn't putting on near enough weight to look very pregnant because I barely ate. But Angela, being the great friend she was, went a bought me a pregnancy test. And when I took that test, my entire life changed.

The test read positive. I was pregnant. With HIS child. And there was no one there to tell. Except for Angela. My dad hated HIM. After what HE did to me, I often caught my dad mumbling about HIM. It was going to be hard to tell my dad that I was pregnant with HIS baby. But Angela set me up with a doctor appointment, I was scarily underweight for being pregnant. We went to the doctor a day later, they told me I was dangerously underweight and if I lost anymore I would probably lose the baby. I needed to eat. And I certainly wasn't going to lose my only connection to HIM.

Eventually I had to tell my dad that I was pregnant. Charlie didn't take it so well, he wasn't happy and practically told me to move out. So I did just that, Angela's parents were nice enough to take me in. I would eventually have to get my own apartment when the baby came. I dwelled over the fact that there was no way for me to get in contact with HIM to talk about the baby. In my dreams I thought maybe HE would come back if HE knew. But that was just my dreams.

I made a phone call to the one person I hadn't exactly liked. Tanya Denali and the rest of the Denali clan. They were the only other vampires I knew that might be able to help me through this, I was sure the baby wouldn't exactly be a normal baby. I took a quick trip to Alaska to visit the Denalis, it was the first time I had seen them in a long long time. Eleazar hadn't even seen anything like a human pregnant with a vampire's child. But there I was, alive and well. He predicted I would live through the birth, but that the baby would be rather strong. Eleazar was no Carlisle though, it would have been so much better if Carlisle had been there.

I carried the baby full term. Renesmee Carlie Swan was born on June 23, 2000. It just happened to 9 months to the day her father left us. By the time she was born I had enough money to move us out on our own. We lived in a quaint little apartment on the outside of Forks. I went to school while Tanya or Carmen would come to watch the baby. I worked part time at Mike Newton's family hiking store. I barely made enough to keep the two of us in a decent living conditions. But I did it, with very little help from the Denali's. I had asked them not to contact HIM. Obviously HE was gone forever, and there was no need to disrupt HIS quiet life. Alice must not have seen it coming, or just not have told him.

Life went with very few distruptions, I graduated on time with the rest of my senior class. I started the local college that summer. Renesmee was growing faster than a normal baby should, and she looked almost exactly like HIM. The same bronze hair, the same flawless skin. And green eyes. Beautiful, piercing green eyes. Everyday when I looked at her all I saw was HIM.

Eventually she started talking, she asked questions about everyone. She wanted to know where her grandparents were, where are aunts were, where her uncles were, and most important where her father was. And I never ever gave her a straight answer. Even almost 5 years later I still didn't want to talk about HIM. Especially to the child that reminded me of HIM every time I looked into the huge green eyes.

Renesmee was incredibly smart for being so young. Probably had to do with the little bit of vampire that was in her. Eventually she started kindergarden, and worked her way all the way up until she went to fifth grade. Fifth grade was when everything just had to change. Life had been so simple up until then. I worked while she was in school. Made enough money to live a cozy life all by ourselves. But then HE had to show back up 10 years too late.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: So I didn't get any reviews on my last chapter…I'm going to do this one and I don't plan on updating until I get a few reviews. So pleasseeee do me and you a favor and review! Thanks everyone who added this story though, you all are great. And thanks for reading. Remember, I don't own twilight!_

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**Losing Control**

EPOV:

I didn't leave because I wanted too. I left because I had too. There was no other choice but to leave. I had to protect HER. SHE was my life, the only thing in the world I cared about. But all that changed the fateful day of HER birthday. When my brother tried to kill HER I realized she shouldn't have to live that life. There was no need for me to put HER in danger everyday.

So I chose to remove myself and my family from the situation, leaving would hopefully solve all of the problems. Hopefully she would forget we ever existed. I swore to myself I would never try and find out how she was doing though. I had to make it seem like I would never exist. My family didn't like the idea, they all adored HER. Especially Alice. They had been the best of friends, it pained me to separate them. But it needed to be done, she needed to experience life without being worried about dying.

I did okay for the first she months I was away, I kept myself occupied with hunting and traveling. Very rarely was I ever seen with my family, they made it hard to stand being away. But once I got bored I had no where else to go was back to Oregon, where my family and I had moved when we left. Seeing the disappointment on their face every time they looked at me broke my heart even further.

I didn't want to leave HER, no one seems to realize it. I did it to give her a chance at life. At a life where she didn't need to be scared someone was going to try and suck her blood from her body every second she walked into our house. Hopefully she was taking that chance at life, I didn't want her to stop everything. It gave her a chance to get to know other people, spend time with her friends without me being around to bring her down.

The family didn't seem to see it like that though. Emmett thought I was being a coward. Jasper thought it was his fault I left. Alice and Esme were upset that they lost a girl they had both enjoyed. Even Rosalie was upset about it, but mostly because she knew it upset me. I had to live everyday with their thoughts of her in my head. I made it hard to keep going everyday. I missed her too. More than anyone else in the house, but I would never ever admit to that.

I was the one who chose to leave, chose to force the family to move away. I was the one who would have to live with the constant regret of leaving her. Alice had originally tried to watch out for HER through visions, but I outlawed that quickly. There was no reason for me to see that she was getting along just fine without me. I was sure she would have no problems moving on with her life.

Things got easier in certain ways after time passed. 10 years had gone by. That's how long I had been away. 10 long years, 10 years that I wondered how she was doing, what her life was like without me. I had grown bored with myself, I had nothing to live for without her in my life.

Eventually I gave up, there was no way I could go on without knowing how she was doing. I needed to know she was okay. So I broke down, after 10 years I had finally went to Alice to ask about HER. And of course she saw me coming. She greeted me at her door before I had a chance to even know.

"It only took you 10 years to ask me to do this." Alice screeched as she pulled me into the room and slammed the door behind us.

I sighed and shook my head, I should have expected her to be this excited. "I thought I could handle not knowing, but I can't do it anymore. So please, just tell me she's okay." I admitted, feeling defeated.

Alice grew quiet, I could see she was concentrated. I was debated on whether or not I planned on prying into her mind to see what was going on or wait until she told me. Curiousity got the best of me, so I pried into the little mind that was Alice's. And I was almost stunned at what I saw.

We saw Bella working and going to college. She was very skinny, almost too skinny. It worried me. We saw that she was still friends with Jessica, Angela, Ben, and Mike. She no longer lived in the same house with Charlie, she had a little tiny apartment of her own. Tanya Denali, a vampire friend of mine, appeared in the vision. Along with the one thing that stunned me the most.

"Tanya? What is Tanya doing there? And Eleazar, Carmen?" Alice wondered aloud, her eyes still glazed over from the vision unfolding in front of our eyes.

A baby, swaddled in blankets appeared in Alice's head. That same baby grew to the age of 10 as we watched her.

"A baby! There's a baby Edward! Oh look at how cute she is! I wonder who the father…" Alice began to say before trailing off.

It wasn't until we noticed that the child's hair at a striking resemblance to my own. Her eyes were green, but they were big like Bella's. There were some similarities of Bella on the child's features, but some of them were so strikingly familiar. Because they were my own.

"Alice…is this what I think it is?" I asked quietly, barely believing what I was seeing.

She left out a loud screech, obviously it was true. "Of course! She has your hair. That we can't deny. And she has your eyes. And your cheek bones. And she looks a lot like you Edward." my sister prattled on.

I sat back on my haunches, I was shocked. I had left for 10 years, not bothering to check in and see if she was okay. And here I left her pregnant with my child. I tried to push the thought of us having sex the night before I left out of my mind, I tried to forget it no matter how hard I tried. And I didn't even know vampires could impregnate humans. If I had known that, I would have used some sort of protection! It still did not explain why the Denali's got involved, or why Bella would have even gone to them in the first place. But that was besides the point.

I had to go back to Forks. I had to own up to the fact I had a daughter I needed to take care of, Bella was busting her ass trying to provide for my child. If I had been there my daughter would have the life people dream of. I put all the responsibility on Bella. She should have contacted me, I would have helped, I would have come home. I wanted to be home, I missed out on the chance I had with Bella, I screwed everything up.

"Edward? Are you okay?" Alice asked quietly.

I had forgotten that Alice was still in the room. "Yes I'm fine. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to handle this situation. I left her pregnant and alone Alice. I never checked to make sure she was okay, I never thought she would get pregnant. If I had known I wouldn't have left." I confessed quickly.

My sister, who always tried to remedy a situation, smiled. I rolled my eyes as I read her mind. She knew this meant I wouldn't be able to stay away from Forks, she knew me all too well. "Yes Alice. I'm going back to Forks. And you can come too if you really want." I sighed before standing up. I ran my hand through my hair nervously, how was I going to tell the rest of the family. I ran from Alice's room and quickly called a family meeting.

My whole family; Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were all displayed in front of me in the living room. Now I had to break the news that I had left my ex girlfriend pregnant with a half breed baby.

"I gave up today. After 10 years of being away I had Alice check and make sure she was okay. And found a lot more than I expected." I began, I gulped down un-necessary air. With that I ran my hands through my hair once me. "On the night before we left I caved in and had sex with Bella. And before any of you jump down my throat, I know it was dangerous. We left the next morning. Apparently I left her pregnant. I did not realize vampires going get humans pregnant, if I had know that I either would have used protection or not left. According to Alice's vision I now have a 9 and a half year old daughter at home in Forks." I finished explaining.

Every pair of eyes in the room were on me. I wasn't sure how or what to do or say. I was in as much shock as they were. My mother was the first to speak the question that was spinning through everyone's heads.

"Does that mean we're going back to Forks?" Esme asked hesitantly. The smile on Alice's face was enough of an answer, but I felt as though I owed the more than that.

A long drawn out sigh ecasped my lips before I answered my mother's question. "Yes. I'm not going to leave her there to finish raising my daughter by herself. I did enough damage already." I admitted quietly. We were vampires, we could hear a pin drop. "I'm leaving in the morning, I don't know about the rest of you." I said louder.

My father was the one to speak up first, always so logical. "We will be ready by dawn to leave with you. We can move back into the old house." he said.

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_A/N: I felt like this was a decent chapter, better than the last one. So please let me a review with some feedback, anything you would like to see let me know! _


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thank you for all the reviews you all gave me, KEEP IT UP! I wanted to clear up a question someone had, I am no good at naming things; but I promise that this story will be a real nightmare. And it is an M rated story for possible language and possible sex/violence. Thought I would cover all the bases just in case I chose to take the story in a darker direction. Thank you all for the reviews, your reviews keep me writing. I am off the shore this weekend, alas I will not be updating again until maybe Monday. So I hope you enjoy this! _

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**Life After You**

BPOV:

My mornings were all the same, I had a routine down to a science. I had too, after all raising a daughter all on your own while balancing a school and work schedule was not the easiest. Every once and a while I heard from Tanya, she checked in to make sure both Renesmee and I were in good health. Never once did I think I would be allied with Tanya Denali, the one person I had always been jealous of.

Angela was a huge help to me too, she watched Renesmee when I had to be at class or work. Charlie kicked me out shortly after finding out I was pregnant and refused to get rid of the baby, I had no help other than my friends. But I was rather independent, I wanted to provide for my daughter to the best of my ability. I worked hard enough to put Renesmee in daycare when she was a baby while I was at school with Angela, and then I would go to work for a few hours every night to make some money. Now that she was in elementary school, I just asked Angela to go there after school to make sure Nessie got dinner and was taken care of. In my opinon, I thought I was giving my daughter the best life I could as a single parent. Sometimes always thought maybe Alice would have seen I was pregnant and he would come back, but everyday when I woke up he never showed.

Tonight I had worked a few hours at my job as a waitress. And I was totally exhausted when I got home. But Angela was there taking care of Nessie for me, I couldn't be more grateful.

"Hey Ang…Hey sweetheart" I said sighing as I flopped down on the sofa. You could see Nessie had a rough day at school by the way she was flopped on the couch watching TV. When I walked in she went up to take a shower before she went to bed. "I'll be up in a few minutes to say goodnight." I told my daughter.

"Hey Bells! How was your day? Anything exciting happen?" Angela asked me.

I offered her a smile before I talked about my day. "It was okay. School was boring, but I guess I need it. And I made a decent amount of tips tonight so I can pay all my bills. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't in this alone you know? I dream every night that Alice would have seen Nessie before she was born and he would come home." I admitted with a huff.

It wasn't very often I talked about him, Nessie didn't know very much about her dad because I didn't want to relieve the pain it put me through. Call me selfish or whatever you want, but why should she know about him when he just left us here?

"Don't hold your breath Bella, he's gone and isn't coming back. Your doing a fine job raising Nessie. She's a happy 10 year old girl living the life she should be. I think she might be coming down with a cold though. I'm going home, Ill see you in school tomorrow. " Angela said before getting up and leaving out the door.

I walked upstairs to spend some time with my daughter, I didn't spend near enough time with her. Not as much as I would have wanted. "Hey baby girl. How was your day?" I asked taking a seat at the edge of the bed. I could tell something was wrong with her, she seemed so sad.

"Mom? I want to talk about my dad. And I want to know why he isn't here. Everybody else had their dads come in today, and I was left without one." Renesmee admitted quietly, not bringing her eyes to her moms.

I left out a deep long sigh. This isn't how I wanted to spend my free time with my daughter. Renesmee knew about vampires, and she knew her dad was a vampire and that's why she was so advanced at everything. But I never gave her a name, or why he left. I tried not to think about it, but apparently it was time I addressed it.

"Well baby. that's complicated. Your dad left. Before he knew I was pregnant. His brother, your uncle Jasper, attempted to suck my blood on my 18th birthday. And then your dad chose that it would be better for me if he left, and gave me the option to move on with my life. So he left, and then you came and we became a happy little family." I tried to explain as quickly and vaguely as possible. But it wasn't easy to explain something like this to a very advanced 10 year old.

You could almost see the gears churning in Renesmee's head as she processed that information. "If dad wanted you to move on why didn't you mommy? Your pretty enough, it shouldn't be hard for you to move on." my daughter suggested.

I flashed her a smile, she was just too cute. Everytime I looked at her I saw him in her, she had his hair. "Because there is nothing more I want in my life than spend all my free time with you princess. Now go to bed. You have to get up for school tomorrow and its Friday. I have off so we can spend the whole weekend together." I promised her.

"Mommy? Didn't daddy love me?" Renesmee asked me quietly, tears welling up in her big green eyes.

"Of course he loves you baby. He just doesn't show it in the same way that I do. Now go to bed, you have school in the morning." I said to her, kissing her cheek lightly before shutting off the light. "I love you sweetheart. Always remember that." I added before leaving the room.

"Love you too Mommy." she replied quietly before falling asleep.

5 o'clock rolled around the next morning and I had a vague feeling of being watched, a familiar feeling when he was still around. A lot of the time I woke up in the middle of the night feeling as though I was being watched, and when he wasn't there I felt so left down. Only this morning was different. I woke up and he was sitting on the window sill watching me sleep.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked through my teeth. I thought I would enjoy the day I saw him waiting here when I woke up. But all I felt was sheer anger, I didn't want him to show back up after years of leaving me to deal with everything on my own.

It took him a while to respond, like he was taking in all of his surroundings before gracing me with an answer. Just like he decided to grace me with his presence. "Alice saw you had a baby. Well I guess she isn't a baby anymore, it seems like she's rather full grown." Edward explained quietly.

"Yeah. She's going to be 10 soon. She hadsa name too. Not like you would fucking know it." I spat back. It wasn't often I cursed, but he had brought out the worst in me. I had no idea where it came from, usually I was calm when he had been around. There was all this pent up anger I needed to get out because of him and it was about to come out.

But the thing he said next was what threw me for a loop…..


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, keep them all coming! I am back from the beach and I have all the intentions of keeping this story going! Keep the reviews coming and the story will keep going!"**

_**What's Yours Is Mine**_

_**EPOV:**_

"_**She's just as much my child as she is your Bella! You can't keep me from seeing my own child! I left for a reason Bella and that was to give you the normal life you deserve. I stayed away for 10 years, not because I wanted to but because I want you to have a normal life. And by having a relationship with a vampire is not normal! But the girl is my child, my flesh and blood. I am not just going to abandon her now that I know she exists." I replied, keeping my composure cool and collected. **_

_**It was hard to look at her without feeling any love for her, I had loved Bella the entire time I had been gone. That would never change, she was my whole entire life. And I gave that life up to try and make hers better. But now that I knew a baby I fathered was in this world, I wasn't going to just drop my own child cold turkey. From the images in Alice's head she looked just like me. There was no denying it was my child. **_

_**That's when Bella's cell phone rang, by a quick glance at the caller idea I saw it was Tanya Denali. My family friend. A friend Bella had never liked, so why were they talking? Obviously I missed a lot somewhere along the line. "Hold on. I'm answering this." Bella hissed before flipping open her cell phone and answering. She seemed so angry, not that I expected a grand parade. **_

"_**Yeah Tanya now isn't a good time. I'm a little busy. No, Nessie is fine. I know. He's in my room now, I'm trying to get him to leave but he won't. No don't worry about coming down I can deal with him myself. I'll call you later." Bella spoke into the phone. It was quite obvious to me that Bella and Tanya were really good friends now. And my daughter's name was Nessie. **_

_**Bella turned her attention back to me. "Stop. Just fucking stop this Edward. I don't need this. Or you, or your pity. I've done a good job for almost 10 years raising her, I don't need you butting in and ruining everything I worked hard for! I keep a roof over our heads, I go to school everyday, I work almost everyday. She does good in school. I don't need you here to disrupt the nice life I've built for us!" she said through her teeth. She wasn't happy, that I could tell. But I wasn't backing down. **_

"_**That is my daughter in the other room Bella! I'm not going to abandon her! She's my flesh and blood, she needs a father!" I said, trying in vain to reason with her. Usually she wasn't this unreasonable. **_

"_**Your daughter has a name! And it's Renesmee! She is sleeping in the other room so keep your god damn voice down! She went to be tonight asking where her father was and why her daddy left. She thinks you left because you didn't love her. But the truth is you didn't love her fucking mother!" Bella hissed, the anger flashing red in her deep brown eyes the mesmerized me. I saw those eyes at every turn of the road. **_

"_**I plan on stepping up Bella. Renesmee, which is a beautiful name by the way, needs a dad. And I plan on being that dad Bella! All you would have had to do was call and I would have come back to own up to my child." I replied, trying not to show I was upset. **_

_**That set her over the edge, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, pulling on her robe. "You don't get to fucking come waltzing back into our lives Edward! You left to 'give me a better life'. Life has moved on without you! Earth to fucking Edward, my life no longer revolves around you!" she told me, her voice rising an octave with each word. **_

_**It was time to drop the bombshell she wouldn't be expecting. I didn't want to play this card, but Bella was being unreasonable. "Then I will take you to court for not allowing me to see my child. Apparently you can left Tanya see her, so why can't I. I am not an unfit father, I have every reason to see my daughter Bella. Whether you like it or not. The court will grant me permission to see her. Even if you don't love me anymore, I can give my love to my daughter." I responded with false arrogance. **_

_**Her face grew bright red, I had never seen her this angry before. It was like she didn't want to see me anymore. Did she really move on like she said? Was she dating someone? Why didn't she want to let me see our daughter? Did she hate me?**_

_**All these questions swam through my head, I was completely oblivious to Bella pacing the room around me. "You don't get to fucking burst in here and question me like this Edward! You fucking left me, told me you never wanted to see me again! Why should I have called to tell you I was having your baby? Why should I even let you see her? She thinks her dad doesn't love her at all. But the truth to the matter is you just don't love me and are preying on my weakness right now!" she huffed. **_

"_**I always loved you Bella! I still do love you! And I love Renesmee. I told you I would disappear and that's just what I did. I wouldn't let Alice look into your future for fear I would find something I didn't like. I now know I should have let her look, I would have knows I was having a daughter if I had let her. I wouldn't have stayed away if I had known I was having a baby. That is something you should have found a way to get a hold of me! But you didn't bother, you called on Tanya to help you raise a vampire baby." I responded, finally getting rather angry at her way of handling all of this. **_

_**Apparently, she didn't like my little monologue. Because she slapped me right across my face. Not that it hurt or anything, her hand probably hurt worse than my face did. "Get the fuck out Edward. I don't ever want to see your fucking face again. You don't deserve to have a family to love you. After what you did I don't even know how you figured coming here would be fucking good. Let me go back to raising my daughter. Without any of your help." she said pointing to the door. **_

_**My hand immediately flew to the spot she hit me, not that it hurt, I was just shocked. I didn't expect her to be this angry. I thought she would understand that I wanted to give her a normal life, that I wanted her to be normal. Not tied down to a man who was over 100 years old and couldn't go out in the sunlight because he glittered. I had not known I could father children, I had wanted her to be able to be with someone who could give her children. But I now knew I could have done that too. I wasn't about to go without seeing my daughter. Whether I had to sneak into her room at night or went through the court to see my daughter I would make sure I could see her. **_

"_**Don't threaten me Bella. That is the last thing you want to do. I will make sure I get to see Renesmee. No matter what it is I have to do to see her, I will make sure I get too." I replied before jumping out the window. The monster inside of me was taking over, it felt possession toward the little girl I had never met. But that girl was mine, all mine. She shared my genes, my DNA. I would do what I needed to do to see her. To hold her. To make sure she was safe. Whether it meant going to the cops or taking her myself. One option outweighed all the others. **_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I apologize for the bold/underline in the last chapter, I'm the farthest thing for computer savvy so I have no clue how to fix it! I've been in the writin mood today, so here's your next chapter! Please please please review! Your all the best!

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Life As I Know It

BPOV:

I couldn't believer my eyes. Or my ears. It was like the world was playing an awfully horrible trick on me. Edward was back in Forks. I should be happy about that right? And he came here to me! Showed up in my room just like he used too. At first he seemed normal, but then I lost my temper causing him to lose his. Now that I think about it, that was rather dangerous of me. I had never seen him that angry before in the almost 2 years that we had been together. It almost scared me. I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to call Alice, but I figured that probably wasn't the best idea considering I just pissed her brother off to no end. And Angela would definitely be sleeping at this hour, it was 3 in the morning. The only person I could think of was Tanya. I had to return her call anyway. I picked up my cell phone and punched in her number, she picked up almost immediately.

"Bella? Are you okay? I was waiting for you to call me back. Carmen, Eleazar and I are going to head down immediately. With Edward and the rest of the Cullens back I don't really want you to be there by yourself until we figure out what his motives are with you and the sweet baby." Tanya said, all in one breath.

I sighed, I didn't want this to be a war, but I didn't want to have my daughter taken away from me after 10 years of raising her almost completely on my own. I didn't want his money. "Tanya do we really need to do this? Isn't there some civil way without the court systems?" I asked with huge sigh.

I could hear rustling in the background on the phone, obviously she was packing. "Bella honestly I want to be there. At least for a few days. I just have a feeling something isn't right. Please. You will never know I'm there. And someone needs to watch sweet Renesmee while you are at school and work. Give Angela some time off. Although I would love to see her." she said, you could almost hear her smile over the phone.

"Fine. Just a few days though Tanya. I don't want to upset Renesmee more than she already is. I'm taking the day off of school and work to spend some time with her. And to be honest I don't want to leave her alone with him being back in town. He was just…just so angry Tanya. I've never seen him that angry, It scares me." I admitted quietly.

Tanya had become my new Alice, my sounding board. And with Alice being gone I had no one to understand what life was like after dating a vampire. I had Angela, who now knew that vampires existed, but it just wasn't the same. Jacob checks in every so often, but since Charlie doesn't want anything to do with me he has to be careful how often he calls. I don't think I've heard from him in months.

"I will be there in an hour darling. Don't you worry about anything. It will all be okay." Tanya replied before hanging up the phone. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

I walked over into my daughters room and sat on the rocking chair just starring at her. She looked so much like him it wasn't even funny. There was very little me in her face, and she had his bronze hair. My heart broke almost every time I looked at her. But now that he was back, after seeing how much of an asshole he could be I wasn't sure what I wanted. I didn't know if I wanted to be with him or not. I wasn't sure I wanted him in her life. After not having a father for 10 years how would Nessie feel? It was all stuff I could discuss with Tanya a little bit later.

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I must have fallen asleep at some point in time, I didn't notice that the clock had moved a half an hour before I felt a gently hand shaking me. It couldn't be Tanya, she didn't move that fast. I opened my eyes quickly, hoping it wasn't Edward. But when my eyes opened and I saw Alice standing there silently, it took all I had to keep quiet.

I dragged her out of the room and back into mine, as I did not want to wake Nessie up. "What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, trying to hide my excitement.

But Alice didn't look that happy to see me. "I came to warn you Bella. He's really upset that you wouldn't let him see Renesmee. Who is absolutely a beauty might I add. I could have a field day buying her clothes. But that's a different conversation. I haven't seen him like this in a really really long time Bella. We're all worried about what he's going to do. He disappeared when he came back last night. And he hasn't made a decision about what he is going to do or I would have seen it." my best friend admitted.

I wasn't sure what to say, she seemed really upset about all of this. There was no chance she was lying, and Alice would never lie to me. "What your trying to tell me Alice is that I'm not safe anymore right?" I whispered. I was shocked, the one man I trusted with my life who had saved me from countless mishaps was now really pissed off at me.

"No Bella. Your not safe. And it's not just because of Edward either. Emmett and Jasper are out looking for him by the way. So your not in major trouble. Emmett and Jasper will keep you safe. We all will. I'm not sure what set him off…" Alice said trailing off. She sighed before continuing. "But it's not just Edward that is upset. Victoria is too. Now that I'm back I've been trying to watch everything that is going on. And Victoria is still upset about the whole James and Laurent thing. I'm not sure how she found out, but she knows about Renesmee. And I can't tell what she has up her sleeve. It scares even me Bella." she finished sadly.

It was like my world was crashing down around me. I wasn't safe with anyone or anything. My daughter wasn't safe. I needed help. "Tanya is coming down, she should be here in a half an hour or so. I can have her stay with me." I suggested with a hopeful gaze.

But that didn't satisfy Alice. "Tanya? As in Denali? Since when did you become friends with her Bella? Last I remember you couldn't stand here because you thought she wanted Edward…" she asked with an amused smile.

"Tanya and the rest of the clan have been there for me through everything. I called her when I found out I was pregnant. She was the only person I could think of that would understand what was going on. I tried emailing you but it always came back failed. So Tanya was my only option, she's been nothing but great to me since you left." I said sighing, this banter about me being friends with Tanya wasn't going to fix the situation at hand.

My answer apparently only amused Alice even more, her smile grew even wider. "Look at you putting bygones to the side and allowing someone to help you! Look at my Bella all growed up." she said pinching my cheeks lightly. It was good to have my best friend back. But who knew how long she would be able to be around me. "And since when did you wear ugly clothes Bella? Jesus I leave for 10 years and you do nothing but become a fashion disaster! I must change this immediately. We have to go shopping." Alice added shaking her head.

I rolled my eyes, no matter what I wore Alice always hated it. "Now isn't the time to talk about shopping Alice. I have your brother to fucking deal with and then Victoria.." I sighed as I heard the front door open. I jumped automatically, even thought it was probably just Tanya. "It's just Tanya. Its okay Bella. No reason to be scared." Alice said comfortingly.

Tanya came up the stairs a short second later. I was so grateful to see such a familiar face. But Tanya didn't look excited to see Alice. "What is she doing here? I thought we agreed no Cullens until I figure out what's going on?" she asked eyeing Alice up.

"Tanya its fine! Alice came to warn me that Edward isn't very happy with me and disappeared. Emmett and Jasper are out looking for him. The rest of the Cullens were worried about me. And she came to tell me that Victoria found out about Nessie. And we could both be in danger." I said quickly catching her up on everything that was happening.

Alice also didn't seem happy that Tanya was here. "Now were the enemy Tanya? I thought we were all friends?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

I was scared there was about to be a fight right here in my room, so I stepped in between the two of them. I knew at least THEY wouldn't hurt me. "Stop it you two right now! Your both on the same side. Alice is concerned about my welling being as is Tanya. There is no need to argue about who has the right to care about me or Nessie. I know the both of you love her. Even if Alice has never met her. That's not Alice's fault its Edwards. And I wont let you guys stand here and fight about it when we have much bigger things to worry about!" I hissed, trying not to yell.

They both seemed to calm down a little, but I saw Alice's eyes glaze over in the familiar fashion of a vision coming. I waited patiently until her eyes returned to normal to ask about it. "What did you see Alice?" I asked quietly, I was almost scared to hear what was coming.

Alice's face was a sheen on calmness. "Emmett and Jasper found him. He went crazy. Literally. He killed one human that they found. But once he realized what he did he went after the animals again. He's pretty upset about it. They took him back to the house where their talking to him about everything that's happening. I should get back. I cant let him know I was here. But I will be back Bella I promise you that. I'll call you okay.." she said quickly before hugging me and jumping out the window. The same window her brother had left only hours ago.

Tanya turned to me, just as concerned as I was. Edward attacked a human, for a man who had impeccable self control he cracked. And it was my fault. I started to cry, of course I still loved Edward. He was the father of my child and the only man that had been able to capture my heart. And I had put him in pain, this was all my fault. I should have just left him see her! Tanya pulled me into her embrace and rocked me back and forth.

"Its okay Bella. There's nothing wrong here. Edward fell off the wagon, he's done it before. He will be okay. You will be okay. We will all make sure of it. You have a lot of people who love you. Your going to be perfectly fine sweetheart. You and Nessie are in the best care you could possibly have. Not everyone gets a vampire army to take care of you." Tanya whispered, trying to calm me down.

At some point I fell into a deep sleep, not waking up until the sun had been shining high the sky. I was terrified to see what this day brought on.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm still in the creative mood, so I'm going to write all of you another chapter. I would lovee some reviews for this chapter!

* * *

The Weight Of The World

EPOV:

So, I did something really really wrong. Worse than anything I have done in a good 4 centuries. I killed a human. For absolutely no reason. Other than the fact I was incredibly upset about something I had no control over. It was my fault Bella didn't want me to see Renesmee. I disappeared for 10 years and left her to raise our daughter by herself. And something about her reaction set me off. It brought out of the animal in me, it made me turn my body over to that animal.

I meant to just hunt a few deer, and somehow along the line a human popped up into the woods mid hunt. And I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't fed on a human in close to 4 centuries. 4 centuries went by without feeding on human blood, and I went and broke that over something that was so dumb and stupid. My brothers found me a little bit later and dragged me back home.

After practically being force fed animal blood for what felt like a whole 24 hours, I had a lot of time to think. I had time to clear my head and think everything through. And trust me, I had a lot to think about. Not just the fact that I killed a human. But all the stuff about Bella and Renesmee. I guess I didn't expect Bella to get so upset when I saw her. I thought maybe she would accept me right back into their lives. But not the case. And when I really thought about it, I shouldn't have expected that, I had told her I didn't love her anymore and left for 10 years. 10 years was a lot of time. But I wanted to, and needed to, see my daughter. She shared my flesh and blood, I needed to at least meet her!

My sister, Alice, came quietly into the room at some point and starred at me. "How could you do that Edward?" she asked me quietly. She hung her head, it was quite obvious she was utterly disappointed in me; as probably most of my family was.

"I don't know Alice. I just snapped okay? I couldn't take it anymore and snapped." I said sighing, placing my head into my hands. I pried into her head, and saw that she had gone to see Bella. And that only pissed me off more. "Alice really? Did you have to go running to her! You had no right to go there!" I hissed, getting angry again.

"I had to see her Edward! If you would look a little bit harder into my head you would know that! Stop being so god damn selfish! Victoria found out about Nessie. And its not good Edward. She hasn't made a decision yet on what she's going to do but it doesn't look good." Alice said narrowing her eyes at me.

I didn't know what to say, I had thought Victoria would have disappeared after 10 years. And now she was coming after my daughter and the girl I was still madly in love with. "She's coming after my daughter and Bella? Nessie, that's her nickname?" I asked fondly. There was so much I didn't know about my own daughter, and I had to know everything. With each mention of my daughter my heart grew softer and softer for her. I never met her and she's already got me wrapped around one of her perfect fingers.

Alice left out a frustrated sigh. "Yes Edward, her nickname is Nessie. Renesmee Carlie Swan is her full name. But that is besides the point right now! Would you focus and freakin listen to me? I just told you Victoria is forming a plan that will endanger both Nessie and Bella. And obviously none of this is getting through to you! No wonder Bella flipped out on you." she huffed turning her back on me and leaving the room.

What was I doing? Not only did I piss off Bella, but I pissed off my sister too. I couldn't just keep going around a pissing everyone off. There was no way I would ever get to meet my daughter if I kept this shit up. Going to court was still an idea floating around in the back of my mind.

Seconds later Emmett walked in the room. I really wasn't in the mood to see him either, but I didn't really have an option since they were practically keeping my hostage in here. "What's your problem man?" Emmett asked me cautiously.

"I don't know Emmett. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I just found out I had a daughter? And I cant even see that daughter? Would that piss you off. Pisses me off just a little bit." I growled across the room. Everyone seemed to be pissing me off, and that was far from normal.

Emmett just simply laughed at me. He laughed at me! "What you need to do is calm the fuck down. Bella wont ever let you see your daughter if you keeping fucking up by losing your temper. You were always even tempered, you always had the most self control out of all of us. And here you are threatening Bella? Really? Because I thought you loved Bella. I thought we all up and moved back here so you could see your daughter and maybe have a normal family? But you went in there with some sort of chip on her shoulder. So not only did you practically blow up your chances of having a possible relationship with you daughter but you probably blew up every chance of getting back together with Bella. You probably just blew that all out the fucking window Edward. Do you even understand that or care? What happened to the brother I always knew? The one who had a heart, the one who had self-control and compassion. Because that's not the one that's sitting in front of me right now. The man sitting in front of me is nothing but an arrogant coward." he said, the sincerity practically dripping out of his voice.

I had never seen Emmett have so much compassion over something. It made me think about everything that I did, and made me think about myself. "Damn Emmett. Maybe you are right. I definitely made an ass out of myself. Do you think Bella will understand if I apologize?" I asked him.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders before responding. "I don't know man. I heard the things you just said to Alice, you didn't seem very concerned about the whole Victoria situation. Its like you don't even care anymore. You better grovel like hell if you want Bella back." he said before silently disappearing out of the room.

What did I really do? I screwed up everything that meant the world to me. Emmett was right. And I needed to fix my mistake. I had to go talk to Bella.

* * *

BPOV:

I had taken the whole day off to spend with Nessie and Tanya. Eventually Angela came over, I had forgotten to call her and tell her I took the day off. I updated her on everything that happened with Edward and Alice and the whole Victoria situation. Its all I could think about. I just wanted all of this to go away. I didn't want to have to deal with it anymore.

Tanya had taken Nessie outside to play on the swing set before the rain came. Which left me time to talk to Angela. I needed someone to talk too, and Angela was the one who I could sound off too. "Ang he really scared the shit out of me this morning. I have never seen him that angry before. I was almost scared of my life. Which is something that's never happened between the two of us before. He was just so angry." I sighed, hanging my head.

"Bells sweetie. It's going to be okay. He isn't going to do anything dumb. He has his whole family to talk some sense into him. He wont take Nessie away from you. And he wont hurt you either. He probably still loves you, I promise you that he still cares about you Bella. Maybe you need to sit down and talk to him. Why don't you call him." Angela suggested, "Me and Tanya will take Nessie somewhere and you guys can sit and talk about all of this. Without the interruption of Nessie or anyone else."

I sighed as I heard the door slip open, expecting it to be Tanya and Nessie. "I like that idea too." Edward said from the doorway. I hadn't expected to hear that voice. Angela quietly stood up from the table and headed toward the back door. "Me and Tanya will take Nessie out to lunch. Call me when your ready for us to bring her back." she called over her shoulder before disappearing outside. I heard the car pull away and I sighed bringing my head up to look at Edward.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, wearily.

His eyes looked just as sad as my own, he looked like the Edward I had once known and loved. "This conversation is going to go a little more civilly than last night. I apologize for everything I said. And I would never ever take Renesmee away from you. I don't know what got into me last night, maybe it was just seeing you again for the first time in 10 years. I don't know. But I really am sorry for the way I reacted." he said apologizing.

And I believed him, 100% believed he was sorry. "Its okay. And I think I wasn't exactly the nicest either. But I wouldn't be able to go on living without Nessie. She is my life Edward, she is the only thing keeping me here. I've got nothing other than her. My father wants nothing to do with me, my mother wont talk to me, the only friends I still have are Tanya and Angela. Nessie is my life," I said, almost in tears.

* * *

EPOV:

I hadn't expected her to say her parents disowned her. Because she had my child. "Why wont they talk to you?" I asked, hoping she would share the story with me.

Bella sighed before answering my question. "They thought that I shouldn't keep the baby because you left me and that I wouldn't be able to support it on my own. But I couldn't do it. She has your flesh and blood in her, I wasn't about to kill a part of you. So I moved out and had Nessie. Story over." she said, obviously frustrated. It seemed like a sore subject, so I dropped it.

"I want to talk about how were going to deal with this…" I said, trying to get to the point. Seeing her so upset only pained me, I hated knowing that I was the cause of it.

"Edward I shouldn't have said I was going to keep your from your daughter. She is yours too. I just don't want to disrupt her life, she has been so comfortable. I just don't want to screw that up. She deserves to meet her father and form her own opinion of you." Bella agreed, hanging her head.

It was obvious she didn't really want me to be a part of Renesmee's life. But I had a feeling it was more because Bella didn't want to deal with me. "I appreciate that you'll let me meet her. Id like to be involved in her life Bella. If I had known I truly would have came back. I only left to try and give you a normal life. That's it." I said, speaking truly from my heart. I wanted her to understand that I still cared about her.

But she shook her head before answering. "No Edward. It just doesn't work like that. You might have left because you wanted me to have a normal life. I loved you Edward, I loved you with all of my heart and you broke it in two. I'll allow you to be a part of your daughter's life. But I'm not ready to have you back in mine. That is going to take a lot more work than just sheer apology." she said, almost shattering my heart completely.

But I nodded, I had to agree with her and not get upset if I ever wanted to see my daughter again. "Okay Bella. Here's to first steps. Just let me talk to Nessie, let me meet her and spend some time with her. We can work on our relationship at some other time, when you trust me more. I'll make sure you can trust me again Bella. I promise. I've always loved you, and I always will. That will never change. I have eternity to win you back. I'll fight for you until the day I expire." I said, laying a tentative kiss on her hand.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Soo sorry for taking so long til I updated! Racing is a hugeee part of my life and we spent all weekend at the track, so therefore no update til now! But here you go! And in return I could use some reviews! Reviews make me want to update moree!

* * *

Lost In Translation

BPOV:

Did he really just tell me he still loved me? Could life seriously get anymore complicated than it already is? First Edward shows back up here like he owns it, and then threatens me. And then Alice tells me she thought Victoria was planning on coming after me. Now, Edward tells me he loves me! It is the only thing I've been waiting to hear for over 9 years! I really needed some time to figure things out. I knew I couldn't just easily fall back into his grasp. Even though it's the only thing I wanted.

"You can stay here for now. Tanya and Angela should be bringing Renesmee back from the park in a little bit. They left to give us some time to talk." I said getting up to head to the kitchen.

And of course he had to follow. "When did you and Tanya become such good friends?" he questioned.

Damn wasn't he just nosy! "After I found out I was pregnant with a baby who had a vampire for a father. And I didn't know how to get a hold of that father. So I had to call a vampire I knew could help me though it." I responded, my voice dripping with anger. It still angered me, just remembering that he deserted me with no problem. After spending 3 years mending the hole he created in my chest I realized I had a lot to be angry about. He left me, just stopped loving me, he abandoned his child. There was so much he did that I had every right in the world to be extremely pissed off!

"I just asked because I knew you and Tanya never really got along when we were still together. Chill out, I just asked a simple question." he mumbled, leaning against the counter.

Everything he said pissed me off! It was like he had a fucking reason to grill me about everything that happened over the next 10 freaking years. "Don't ask questions you don't have the right to ask. And please, don't piss me off. Nessie will be home in a little bit. I just got a text from Angela, they just left the park." I said, promptly spinning on my heels and heading to the living room.

"I intend to piss you off Bella. I just asked a question. You seem to be doing a great job raising Nessie yourself. She seems like a great child, from what I saw in Alice's vision. I only saw her when she was sleeping since I got back." he said. Damn could he be any cuter? He was wearing down my reserve.

"I wouldn't say I'm hard on her. I just expect her to have the most upmost of manners. She's a great student for only being 10, very advanced for her age. But I guess that's your genes that you passed on to her. And she just happens to be a splitting image of you. Which really sucks, she barely looks like me. But I work hard to give her the life she deserves. I work most of the night at a resturant and then go to school to be a biologist during the day." I babbled. He just did that to me, still after all these years he made me lose track of what I wanted to say.

And his smile! God damn did that smile send butterflies up in my stomach. But I couldn't and wouldn't let him win me over so easily. There better be a lot of fucking grovelling for him to be involved in this life again.

* * *

EPOV:

It was nice sitting here with Bella, just talking. Watching her mouth move made me realize everything I had been missing. She was so incredibly beautiful sitting there babbling on about our daughter. The daughter I had fathered. Soon enough she would be home and I would get to meet her for the very first time in her life. What if I wasn't a good father? What if I didn't know what to do with her? Oh god what if I disappointed her?

Those were thoughts I didn't want to think of, so I turned my attention back to Bella's beautiful face. Her eyes just mezmorised me. I got lost in them. I almost didn't hear the door open, revealing my beautifully excited daughter. I forgot everything I wanted to say when my daughter came bounding through the room, more excited than anything I had ever seen before.

"Mommy! Aunt T and Auntie A took me to the park! And mommy I went down the slidey boardie all by myself! No one caught me! And Auntie T pushed me on the swing higher than anybody else was going! And it was so much fun mommy! And I want to go back again tomorrow! And the next day and the next and the next!" the tiny girl explained bouncing up and down in front of Bella.

The smile that lit up Bella's face crushed my dead heart, they were such the family. Bella adored Nessie and Nessie adored Bella. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen in the world. "Oh yeah princess? Maybe if your lucky Aunt Tanya will take you tomorrow after your done at school while Momma is working. I'm glad you had a great day baby girl. Did you have something to eat?" Bella asked picking Nessie up and sitting her on her knee.

"I would looveeee it if Auntie T took me to the park tomorrow Momma! I love the park! Can I have pretzels Mommy? I'm kind of hungry…" Nessie said looking up at her mom. Tanya was there in seconds with pretzels, sometimes it helped to have vampire speed. But I could see Tanya shooting me looks that contained daggers, it was obvious Tanya didn't trust me. And Angela had left quickly, claiming she had to go home and do school work. I think she just wanted to leave because she felt awkward. But not Tanya, oh no not her. She had to stay, watching over everything. "Mommy? Who is that guy? And why is he starring at me?" my daughter asked, pointing right at my chest.

I could see Bella gulp before giving Renesmee an answer. "Well you see baby. That's your dad. He came to say hello." she answered cautiously.

"But Mommy, I don't have a Daddy. It's just me and you." Nessie responded, narrowing her eyes at me. If that didn't break my heart, hearing Tanya snicker just cracked it in half. I couldn't blame my daughter though, it was true. She didn't have a dad because I disappeared. Bella was quick to tell her otherwise though.

"Well you see baby. Dad had to go off and take care of business while you were born, he's been very very busy. But he's here now. And he wants to spend some time with you." she said, trying to correct the situation.

"No mommy. I don't really want to spend time with him now. I'm kind of tired. I just want to spend time with you." Nessie said, cuddling into Bella's chest. That was when I had to intervene. I couldn't let her hate me anymore. I needed to fix this.

"Hi Renesmee! You are just the most adorable little girl I've ever met. Your mommy raised you to be such a good girl. How about tomorrow while Mommy is at school, I go to the park with you and Tanya. I would love to spend some time with you." I said, using my most calm voice I possible could. Even though my heart was shattering to pieces every time the little girl shot me dirty looks. It was like I wasn't supposed to be here. But I needed to get to know my daughter, eventually she would warm up to me.

You could practically see the little girl thinking about how she was going to handle the situation. You could see the wheels turning in her head. And it reminded me so much of myself. "Hm. I think I could do that. But only if you take me out to my favorite restuarnt. That is the only way you could join me and Aunt T at the park while Mommy goes to work." she said, trying to bribe me. Bella tried to hide her laughter, but she was failing miserably.

But who could deny this little girl of anything? She was too damn cute trying to blackmail me into taking her out to dinner. "I think I can arrange that for you sweetheart. I would love to take you out to dinner. As long as you're a good girl of course.." I said smiling brightly at her.

It seemed to satisfy her, Nessie seemed a little bit more comfortable with me. "I am a very good girl. Just ask my mommy. She will tell you how good of a girl I am! And I'm a big girl! I can finish a whole chicken fingers platter all by myself!" she said proudly. Oh god how cute she was. I just wanted to hug her, but that was moving too fast.

"You are a very good girl from what I see. Your Mom did a really good job raising you. And I'm so glad I finally got to meet you. I'm very sorry for being gone so long. I didn't mean to be away for such a long time. But work called and I couldn't help it. But now I'm here and I'm looking so forward to spending a ton of time with you." I said, running my hand across her tiny little rosy cheek.

But eight little word finished off shattering my heart into a million little pieces. "I don't want to call you daddy yet." she whispered, hiding her face in Bella's hair.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner, life has just been one crazy mess! So much going on and I was running out of time to get it all done! So with no further adieu here we go with Chapter 8! Review please, and I'll try and get the next one up as fast as possible!

* * *

When Life Gives You Lemons…

EPOV:

I honestly couldn't believe my daughter said that to me. Not only was I completely shocked by her omission, but it sent my dead heard shattering into even tinier pieces. I had a lot of making up to do, obviously Bella was still really pissed off at me and so was my daughter. Even though she was a whole 9 years old, and well we all know 9 year olds don't stay mad for long. But I guess this is what I get for disappearing for 10 years and never checking in on Bella. Karma came around and bit me in the ass.

Now my daughter wants nothing to do with me and the woman I considered the love of my life didn't want anything to do with me either. Hopefully, one of the two of them would get passed it. And my bets were set on the 9 year old moving on before her mother.

I watched Tanya snicker as Renesmee said those words. And if my baby girl and her mother weren't in the same room I probably would have ripped her throat out. I'm sure that would really make my daughters day if I ripped out her 'Auntie Tanya's' throat right in front of her. I really need to find a way to calm down my anger…

"It's okay princess. You can call me whatever it is you want until you feel comfortable calling me Daddy.." I promised her, offering her a dazzling smile.

But my daughter didn't seem to be impressed with that smile, she seemed uncomfortable around me. Almost scared. All she did was nod and yawn. This time Bella chimed up.

"I think you need a nap Renesmee dear. Aunt Tanya must have tired you out at the playground." Bella said gingerly picking Renesmee up. The little girls eyes were so heavy and tired she almost passed out right on Bella's shoulder. And the sight would have brought tears to my eyes if I could cry.

When Bella got up and left, Tanya and I were left by ourselves. All we could see to do is glare at each other. I could read her mind, but the bitch was blocking me out by saying her alphabet in a million different languages.

"Don't even think about starting in on me Tanya. I don't need you to yell at me. I feel bad enough that I left the two of them defenseless for so long." I hissed at her, finally breaking the silence.

"I shouldn't have to say anything Edward. The sight of the two of them in this tiny ass little house that Bella can barely afford should make you feel like enough of an asshole." Tanya hissed back, a twisted smile spread onto her lips. She knew how to push my buttons all wrong.

"I feel bad enough! I could have given the two of them the life they deserve and I went and fucked it all up! You think I wont be living for the rest of eternity with a guilty conscience? Even if they do forgive me somehow? I will have to live with this mistake for the rest of my existence!"

God damn did she pissed me off! I just wanted to kill her right then and there. Jealously was no longer a factor now, she was just being overprotective of both Bella and Nessie. I don't blame Tanya either, she had done a lot to help the two of them live a somewhat comfortable life. Without me.

"I swear on my life Edward, you hurt either of those two humans; whether its breaking their heart by leaving or killing one of them, I will make sure you don't die and have to live with the guilt of hurting them forever. I will torture you to the point you wish you could die if you hurt them. Mark my words Edward." Tanya threatened before dipping out the door.

* * *

BPOV:

I took Renesmee into her room to take a nap, she seemed incredibly tired. It wasn't often she napped anymore, only when she was completely ready to pass out. She had a long day, first the park and then meeting her dad after all these years. I can totally understand her being exhausted.

I read her a short book and by the time I finished the last sentence she was completely passed out, curled up into a tiny little ball looking ever so innocent. She looked so much like Edward it wasn't even funny. Laying there looking so angelic and perfect reminded me why I fell in love with him in the first place.

When I got up off the rocking chair I had been sitting on and turned to leave the room I noticed Edward standing there in the doorway just watching.

"Holy shit! You scared the hell out of me! Get out of here before you wake her up." I hissed angrily.

I shoved my way passed him, like he had the right to watch me put her to sleep. He missed it for 9 years of her life, like he could make it up now. I walked in the kitchen and poured myself some water, I figured he would follow me out here.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked with a sigh. I didn't want to deal with having to talk to him anymore today. My patience were wearing thin. And I knew Angela would want to know exactly what happened and probably has called my cell a million times by now.

"Bella, we really need to talk about this. I want to see my daughter, be a part of her life. And I need to be able to protect the two of you for whatever Victoria has up her sleeve. We cant just ignore this. It's not just about us anymore." he said, he sounded so god damn sincere.

"Edward..honestly? I'm emotionally exhausted. All of this has drained me for the day. It's not like Victoria is going to move in over night and try to kill us. She hasn't been here in 10 years, why would she jump back to Forks now. I'm sure this isn't something we absolutely need to discuss now.."

"I don't just want to discuss Victoria Bella! I want to talk about Renesmee, how were going to work it out so I can see her. And I want to talk about us. There's a lot more to talk about than just Victoria."

"Fine! Subject 1, lets talk about us. There is no 'us' anymore. You shot that to hell when you just up and left using the pretense that you wanted to give me a normal life! I never asked for a fucking normal life Edward! I asked for you, I asked for you for eternity. That's all I fucking wanted. And you left so I could have a normal life! My life hasn't even been remotely normal since you left. You must be fucking delusional if you think I'm just going to drop everything and run back into your arms again! You left me for 10 years Edward. 10 long years. I've spent 10 years trying in vain to get over you, and when I think I'm finally close you come waltzing back in here like nothing happened. Well everything fucking happened! I had your child, which I had to provide for all on my own. I lost my parents because they wanted nothing to do with me after having your baby! I lost a lot of my friends because I had a baby to take care of. I lost all my time to be a teenager and have that so called normal life. I lost the love of my life. I lost my best friend. I lost everything because you decided I needed to know what a normal life was." I said beginning to cry. I was losing it, I couldn't hold any of this in any longer.

I cried for what seemed like hours, I hoped it broke his heart to watch me cry. "There is no 'us' right now Edward. Maybe one day I'll be able to get over all of this heartbreak and come running back to you. But right now Edward, even though I would give anything in the world to turn back 10 years and have to never leave, I cant be with you. I cant just let you back in even though I want to do that. You broke me too much, those pieces cant just be picked back up and put back together in 24 hours." I whispered.

All he did was nod his head, he would never push me into something I wasn't ready for. He would never force me back into a relationship with him. He was always such the gentleman. After I wiped my tears away and composed myself I looked back up at him, eventually I knew we would get back together. We were meant to be together; hell it was taking everything I had right now not to just plant a kiss on those beautiful lips. But I wasn't going to let him win, I wasn't going to let him think I needed him. I didn't need anybody.

"And as for Renesmee. I cant keep you away from her. She's just as much yours as she is mine. Even though all you did was lend some sperm so I could have her. I was the one who did all the raising and listening to her cry. It still doesn't make it right for me to keep you away from her. So I propose that we set up a schedule. As you could see, she isn't very fond of you just yet. So I think we should plan for twice a week we get together, the three of us, and you can spend some time with her. Eventually when she gets more comfortable with you maybe I'll let you take her alone for some daddy daughter time. But for now, after seeing how shy she was earlier, I think it would be best for me to be there."

"I agree. She didn't exactly seem to thrilled that I came back into her life. And I honestly don't know how to be a dad and talk her out of those temper tantrums for comfort her properly when she cries. So I took would feel more comfortable if you were there. And we can do it around your work schedule. I have no problem with that. Hopefully she gets a little bit more comfortable with me."

"Don't worry Edward, eventually she will realize that you're her father. And when you shower her with presents, eventually she will like you more than she likes me. Even though I've given her everything I possible could. I know you'll get her something much bigger and better than I ever could."

"This isn't a game at who is a better parent Bella. You've given her everything she needs, you've been there for her since she was born. I was the one who up and disappeared and didn't return until she was 10. So obviously one of the two of us have done a better job at being a parent. And yes, I can tell you right now that my family will spoil the hell out of her. But again, this isn't a competition at who is better. This is us trying to give our daughter the best life possible, even if her parents aren't currently in a relationship. One day I hope that can change."

"You sounded like a parent up until you mentioned our relationship."

"I never said I would stop trying to win you over."

"I'm not a prize Edward. I don't need to be won."

"I thought we were talking about our daughter? How did we get on the subject of ourselves?"

"Because you brought it up! You were doing perfectly fine, talking like a real father shoulder, until you brought that up! I've given Nessie a great life without it involving me being in a relationship with anyone! Yeah, I've gone out on a few dates. I can count all of them on one hand. A child doesn't need her parents to be in a relationship to function. They just need to be loved."

"You went out on dates?" He sounded shocked that I didn't just sit around and fucking wait for him.

"Yes I went out on a few dates. I can count how many of them on one hand. 3 dates in 10 years..hmm that sounds pretty pathetic to me."

"With who?"

"That's none of your business. But if you must know, 2 were with Mike Newton and one was with Jacob Black."

"Mike Newton and Jacob Black? Really Bella! Obviously they're not very good for you, because they didn't stick around." he said with a smug smile on her lips.

UGH! I just wanted to kill him sometimes, he could be such a cocky arrogant asshole! "Shut the fuck up Edward. I never asked you about going on dates in the 10 years we've been apart. You told me when you left you wanted me to have a normal life, so I tried to go on dates. And no one can live up to your standards! Does that make you fucking happy?"

"Yes. It soothes my arrogant ego. And for the record, I never went out of any dates in the 10 years I've been away."

"I don't care how many dates you've been on! How did we go from a nice conversation to you annoying the piss out of me?"

"I don't know, but I seem to be enjoying annoying you."

COULD HE BE MORE OF AN ASSHOLE? "Okay Bella. I'm sorry for asking you about your dates. I must be going now. I have some shopping I would like to do. I believe Alice will be over later with some stuff she just bought for Nessie. And I think she will be bringing Esme and Rosalie as well. I'd like to come over again tomorrow if that's okay?" he asked.

Could he get any cuter? Those golden eyes just burn right through my soul, but I have to stand my ground. "Yes. I don't have class tomorrow so we will be free all morning until 3 o'clock until I leave for work. Nessie usually wakes up around 8ish. Feel free to come after that. But don't you dare sneak through my fucking window or anything tonight." I said sighing.

Then he had to flash me that adorable fucking grin. "You know me all too well. In that case I would lock all the windows if I were you. I enjoy watching you sleep. Always did. Enjoy your day Bella." he said before dashing out the door.

I MUST stand my ground against that god damn grin….. And lock all the windows tonight. Maybe I'll just leave one open…just in case…


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I was feeling creative enough to grace you with two chapters in one week, so I expect more reviews this time! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

Life is Like a Rollercoaster

EPOV:

Maybe I was being an asshole, maybe I was just trying to torment her. No one will know. Okay, so I was just trying to torment her because I knew I was pissing her off. But I really need to stop pissing her off, because with her temper I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to take my privlages of seeing my daughter away.

After leaving their house I went out to hunt a little bit more. I needed to get what was left of that human blood out of my body. Especially with being around Bella again. So I went out to my old stomping grounds, ready to hunt. Only to be stopped by the one thing I least expected, or more forgot, existed.

"What are you doing here?" I growled as the form walked from the woods flanked by two giant dogs. Jacob freaking Black. I forgot about him.

"That's the same question I should be asking you Cullen…" he said with an incredibly cocky smile on that stupid face. And again he was shirtless.

"I moved home. Thought better of my actions and came back. Besides I like Forks."

"Are you sure your wanted here Cullen? I mean us wolves obviously don't want you or your family here. But I can think of one person who probably wont want to see you. Since you bailed on her and your own child."

And that set me off, if I didn't have the thoughts of Bella in the back of my mind I wouldn't have hesitated to start a war between the wolves and myself. "How would you know what Bella wants Black? From what she told me earlier you practically bailed on her the day she found out she was pregnant with my child." You could see his eye twitch. That made me smile.

"Yeah exactly. I don't want to associate with anyone who has vampire children. Its kind of against everything I stand for. So I havent seen her in months. I bet that's exactly what you want to hear."

"Yeah it is. Because I know you couldn't have hacked it being a father. Especially to a little vampire girl. Who happens to look exactly like me by the way, just incase you wanted to know."

"I wouldn't want to be a father to a vampire baby. It just sucks that she had to go on for 10 years without a father because he was too much of a fucking coward to stay around."

"I was giving her a chance at having a normal life! That life went out the window the day she realized she was pregnant with a half breed child!"

"Its quite obvious that you failed at giving her a normal life or the abnormal."

"Shut the fuck up Black. I don't need your shit too. I have everyone else's shit. I only came out here to hunt. So I don't kill Bella or my daughter. So please let me have the peace and quiet of that."

"Fine. I'll let you go. But watch where you walk Cullen. Make sure you don't cross that line." he said before disappearing back into the woods with his wolf friends.

It didn't take me long to find some prey. Or to eat it. I was hungier than I thought. Being out in the woods gave me time to think. And I definitely needed to think about everything that was going on. Between Bella and my daughter and all the issues that Victoria is causing.

I planned on spending every moment I could with my daughter, hopefully by Bella allowing me to see her. I would hate to have to take her to court over something so trivial. We could get along…or I hoped so. Which led me to topic number two to think about.

Bella was the second thing on my mind. And believe me, she was a close first. I wanted Bella to forgive me. I wanted Bella to forget about my leaving. But I knew that wasn't exactly possible. I wouldn't forgive or forget someone for just running off on me and then reappearing in my life. But I didn't plan on giving up on her. I was going to fight for her. Until my dead heart finally gives out, I was going to fight for her.

Emmett scared the shit out of me when he came out into the clearing. I have no idea how he knew I was there, I was in the middle of no where. Awfully close to the Oregon state line.

"Hey bro. I'm going to take a guess and say you went to see Bella?"

All I could do was nod, even thought Emmett appeared to be a big meat head, he could be one of the best to talk too.

"And I'm going to guess it didn't go very well. I'm not a betting man, but by the look on your face your obviously upset."

"No. I mean yes. I mean it didn't go the greatest. Its not like were back together or anything. I think were a long long way from that. But she let me see Renesmee. Who is absolutely the most adorable thing ever. But she told me she wouldn't call me Daddy which hurt.."

"Well did you honestly expect her too? She grew up without a dad and suddenly that Dad decides to come back into her life. I don't even think I would call you dad if I was in her situation."

"Yeah I guess your right. And as for Bella, well I don't plan on giving up but she isn't exactly going easy on letting me back in. I hurt her worse than I thought when I left. But I'm gonna fight for her Em."

"I expect you too. I would kick your ass if you didn't. But listen bro. Don't give up. Have hope and all that sappy shit. I'm going to get a bear. Go shop for some cute shit for your kid." he said before disappearing north.

BPOV:

Angela came over shortly after Edward left. Could I ever get a chance to be alone? But I cant complain, Angela has done a lot for me. And all she wanted to talk about was freaking Edward. I was sick of talking or thinking about him. Because every time I thought about him my walls came down even more. And that couldn't happen, I wasn't ready to let him back into my life. He deserved to squirm for quite some time.

"So did Ness like him?" Angela asked, bringing me out of my own thoughts.

"Well it was definitely uncomfortable. She told him flat to his face that she wouldn't call him Daddy. Which was seriously the funniest fucking thing Ive ever seen. But she's warming up to him. Especially since I think shes going to go out and buy her all this shit she doesn't need."

"Isnt that just what his family does though? Spend money?"

"Yeah. They definitely have a lot of money to spend. And I cant complain if their spending money on her. As long as it isn't me. He mentioned that Alice had been out shopping all day for her, so I guess I can expect a visit from her soon too again."

"Do you want to get back together with Edward?"

"I don't know. I mean yes, it gives Nessie the family she deserves. The family I've always wanted her to have. But then on the other side, I don't want to get back together with the man who just up and left with no option just to try and give me a normal life."

"Do you still love him Bella?"

"Yes. That will never change. He's like a magnet. And I gravitate toward him. And I love him, I really do. I always did. And I always will."

"Then don't be opposed to letting him back in. I mean I'm not saying just let him waltz back in here like it was okay. But don't put a wall up keeping him out.."

Her advice was good, and it had to be interrupted because Nessie woke up. She came wandering out into the living room with a confused look on her face.

"Whats wrong baby?" I asked her.

"Where did that guy that says he's my dad go?"

"Well honey, he is your dad. There is no denying that. And he had to go home for a little while. You might meet his sisters though later. And your grandmother."

"I wanted to see Dad..Why did he leave? Why isn't he living here?"

"Well because your dad has is own house. And he had to go back to his house and take care of some stuff around there."

"When will he be back? Id like to see him again."

"He said he would come back tomorrow. To visit with you. He isn't going anywhere soon sweetheart."

"Why cant he live here? He is my dad and you're my mom. That's how things are supposed to go."

I almost choked, my airway felt so constricted. Of course that was how things were supposed to be. She was completely excelled for her age.

"Because we like our space. He likes his house and I like mine. Why don't you go outside and play. I'm making dinner soon."

With that my daughter disappeared out into the back yard and onto her playset. Of course now she was obsessed with Edward. That was just my luck. It bothered me. Because I spent the last 10 years raising her by myself and he waltzes in here and she loves him immediately. He didn't give birth to her, he didn't bust her ass everyday to keep a roof over her head. He didn't do anything like that and now he was idolized.


End file.
